Getting Unstuck in Life: Ways to Change Your Perspective and Deal with Difficult Times

The current changes in our social structure in the world, America, and into our own neighborhoods and communities have brought us all situations that are very difficult. With stay-at-home orders, small businesses and public buildings such as libraries being closed, churches no longer being a refuge, many are struggling.

I was talking with a good friend of mine, and she’s definitely stuck. She’s stuck (for a time) living in a place she’s living, living with the person she’s living with, and there’s no relief in the foreseeable future due to financial circumstances.

I’m certain many others are stuck right now too. I’ve been VERY stuck at various times in my life, and in one case it took me three long years and a lot of hard work to dig myself out of it….but I did.

Being stuck is not fun, is it? It’s hard. It’s even crippling. But let’s look at being stuck with some new perspective. Perhaps we’re stuck for a time so we can build character? Or maybe it’s so we can learn an important lesson?

In life, we all go through times of being or feeling stuck. We can’t always control our situations, and because of our relationships, jobs, and circumstances, we can end up in a stuck place. This is a place where we have to just deal with the circumstances we’re dealt…at least for a bit of time.

Here are some ways to handle this feeling of being stuck. Even if you can’t get unstuck from the actual situation right away….you can choose to think about things differently, turn to God for help, and set some boundaries.

1) Make Some Decisions; Have a Long Range Plan; and Look to the Future

Feeling stuck can lead to some angry feelings, and usually does, as a matter of fact. And as we know, we need to deal with anger in a healthy way or it can quickly turn into depression, anxiety…and even significant health issues.

Look objectively at the situation. List the things you like. List the things you don’t.

Then make some decisions about what you’d like to change.

If you can’t make these changes right now, then put a long range plan in place. Often, just having a plan can help you find some peace in the day-to-day of being in a situation.

While you’re in this stuck place, wherever it is for you, try your best to focus on the good parts of the situation…but keep your eye on the long range plan you have set in motion.

A great book to read to help you with feeling stuck and to learn more about anger and your personal choices is The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner.

Here’s what the Bible says about having a plan:

“Prepare your work outside, And make it ready for yourself in the field; Afterwards, then, build your house.” Proverbs 24:27

Be a careful planner and be sure to have the means to live as you set your plan in motion.

“For which one of you, when he wants to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if he has enough to complete it?” Luke 14:28

In Jesus words, we learn that being a Christian can become difficult…are we willing to pay the cost? But in our real lives, too, having a plan and measuring out the cost in emotions, time, and money are vital to being able to persevere and succeed.

And let the past go, as you lay your long range plans:

“Do not call to mind the former things, Or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43:18-19

2) Shift Your Focus to God’s Will…Not Your Own

Life is hard, and we will have troubles. God tells us this. (John 16:33) The great thing about knowing beforehand that we will have difficulties in life makes us more resilient when they happen. This is because we know we’ll have them, so we can prepare.

So many of us pray for the things we want, for our plans to come to fruition, for our desires and blessings…but the reality is that if we focus on the things God want, His will for our lives, and stay able to accept where we are while working hard for our futures, eventually, we’ll see results.

God only works for the good of all of us, even when we’re in the middle of some really terrible times. This is hard to understand, but if we can wrap our minds and hearts around this, accept what’s happening with grace, do what we can about it, and keep moving forward….we’ll get through it.

Jesus is a great example of keeping His eye on God’s prize and promises:

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:1-2

I can tell you from my own personal experiences, and some hard times, that God has a plan for you. You have a purpose.

The issue for those of us who tend to want to control everything (raising hand) is that we don’t really have any control. We make our plans. We do what we do. But ultimately, God is at work, and if we just let our lives and choices by guided by Him…we’ll be fine.

3) Set Strong Boundaries….and Don’t Let Anyone Breach Them

This is one of the most important things you need to do if you are stuck in a situation you can’t get out of right away, when you keep doing the things you’re doing, hoping and waiting for the changes that will eventually come.

You need to set boundaries.

If you know being around a certain person is going to cause you trauma, then don’t be around that person. The hard thing is that if you live with them, you may have to be creative. Either way, you need to be strong if you’re in a place where you can’t make any immediate moves.

Take this difficult time and use it to build character, resiliency, and strengthen resolve.

Use this time to get closer to God.

Use this time to get to know yourself better and to stick to your long range plan.

Setting boundaries helps you stay strong so that you can make good decisions as your life unfolds.

We’ve all heard that we should not be unequally yoked. I believe this goes farther than linking ourselves to believers or not…it also has a lot to do with our overall value system, work ethic, and understanding of the world.

“Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14

and

“Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good morals.’“ 1 Corinthians 15:33

So choose your friends, partners, and those you hang out with carefully. It’s harder to get out of a tough situation once you’re stuck than into something good, oftentimes.

But if you HAVE gotten yourself into something that you need to extricate yourself from….go back to numbers one and two above.

You (and God) have got this!

Here’s a GREAT Christian-based book on Boundaries by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

Final Thoughts on Getting Unstuck in Life

We can be stuck in both big and small ways.

Maybe we’re simply stuck in some bad habits? Or maybe it’s more serious.

If you find yourself in a situation where you feel like you’re just plain stuck, and there’s no way out…trust me. There is.

It may be painful.

It may be hard.

It may take time.

But you can get yourself going again! Especially if you lean on God’s word and His help to guide you…. You’ll be fine soon.

I hope this note helped some of you if you’re in a stuck place.

Hugs, Hope, and Light,

Heidi

P.S. It’s been brought to my attention that I need an email sign up on my posts here. So, I’ve created one! I hope you’ll sign up if you’re liking what you’re reading. In the meantime, if you visit my sister site, Healing Harvest Homestead, you may also hear from me over there! :-)

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