An Anger Test: Are You More Angry Than You Should Be?
Anger is demonic; it’s a bitter feeling that causes so much harm. Our world is filled with rage these days, and individuals are falling prey to the trap of those who would twist our emotions. We see this in the case of the Black Lives Matter movement, with the violent protests going on.
I’m so glad to have my Christian faith, and when we know how we are to deal with these angry, bitter, hateful feelings based on God’s word, we can stay peaceful and sane in these times. When I find myself becoming angry or feeling helpless when I watch the news (which is becoming more rare, especially since you can’t believe anything being presented to us any more), I lean on what I know to be true about “hot” feelings like anger—-we must rid ourselves of wrath of all kinds.
Road rage is a common example of how anger can get a person in trouble. Driving the city street of Las Vegas, Nevada for 40 plus years gave me some good practice in dealing with road rage…both good and bad I’m afraid. People who give in to anger while driving are a danger to themselves and others. I know this from personal experience.
I’m reading a study of the Book of Esther right now, and there’s a pretty eloquent example of what happens when a person is filled with rage and the possible consequences.
Haman, a person of power in Ahasuerus’ court, hated the Jews who lived in Babylon at that time. He made plans and paid a great deal of money to the king’s court so that he could implement his plan of genocide on the Jews in the kingdom.
However, Queen Esther happened to be a Jew, unbeknownst to the king….or to Haman. Her Uncle Mordecai, also esteemed in the king’s favor, refused to bow down to Haman, and Haman in his wrath had built a 50 cubic tall stand upon which to hang Mordecai.
But when the king discovered that his beloved Esther was a Jew and how Haman’s plans had gotten out of control…the realization of what was about to happen with a good portion of the people in his kingdom hit home. Instead of Haman being able to kill the Jews, King Ahasuerus had him hanged on the very stand that was meant for Mordecai, the Jew.
We can see in this example how anger is not only hurtful to others and ourselves, but it can actually kill us.
We all know how anger feels, and it’s not good in our souls. It kills us slowly inside. I’ve written about forgiveness before, and if you have trouble forgiving those who hurt you, you might want to read through the steps. Anger, bitterness, hate, wanting revenge, wanting to hurt….these are all feelings of Satan, our enemy.
He comes to kill, steal, and destroy, and by allowing those negative feelings to fester in us at all, we are surely being destroyed from the inside out.
Here’s an anger test for you to take, based on information written by Psychologist Richard Driscoll and found in my recent study book, Live Beautifully:
1) Do you feel mistreated by others?
2) Do you take minor inconveniences personally?
3) Do you often complain or feel like the world isn’t fair?
4) Do you make exaggerations about others’ actions?
5) Do you yell, throw tantrums, jump around, or allow your anger to infuse your behaviors?
**In light of recent events in our society, I’d also add: Are you angry at a group of people, even though the massive majority of those people haven’t hurt you personally?
Answering more yeses than no's means you are a generally an angry person.
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Here are some practical things to try to reduce your feelings of rage at others:
Remember the Serenity Prayer, and either change it or accept the situation:
Can you really change the situation? Can you really change another person? Would acting like a peaceful, positive role model be a better option than attacking another person?
Try to be objective about the situation. If you truly can’t change it, then just accept it. Seriously. If nothing at all can be done about the person or behavior, learn to just accept. And…pray for that person.
Don’t take the person or the situation or the incident personally:
Don Miguel Ruiz, in his popular book based on wisdom of the Toltec Indians, The Four Agreements, makes this one of the agreements you need to make with yourself.
My fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Dooley (who I just loved), told us repeatedly: “Just let the things other people do roll off you like water off a duck’s back.” At the age of 9, that saying was kind of hard to understand, but as an adult, it’s great advice.
This action can be difficult, but I can tell you: There is a great deal of peace when you tell yourself that the other person’s actions have nothing to do with you and everything to do with that person’s issues. Then you can feel bad for them…and pray for them.
Stop reliving the past in your mind and heart…just let it go already:
You guys. Life goes on, and we should as well. People are going to hurt us. It’s the way of the world. Just accept this and let go of the things others have done “to” us. Really. I know this is difficult sometimes, but for your own peace, you must.
When those images and hurts arise, just imagine them leaving you enclosed in a bubble as they rise into the sky….gone. You know when you blow bubbles and the eventually burst? Do that with your angry memories. This has worked for me, along with the steps I use for forgiveness.
Change up your routine and your life if need be:
If you can avoid the people or situations that make you angry, then do this. Here’s an example: I get truly bothered by being in crowds of people and waiting in lines. So I choose to avoid these. I go to Costco on a weekday (after work, when I was working a 9-5) rather than go on the weekend, for example. Know what makes you mad, and avoid those situations.
Another example: I KNOW that being around one of my ex-husbands is going to enrage or scare me at some point because to this day he still needles and bullies me, decades later. So now, I choose NOT ever to be around him, and especially without the protection of my husband or a son who understands.
Your personal peace is the most important thing to hold onto, so keep anger at bay if you can.
Here are some places where God addresses this for us, and I love these verses for keeping me grounded when I need it:
In Ephesians 4:30-5:2, Paul writes:
Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.”
and in Psalm 37:8-11:
“Cease from anger and forsake wrath; Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing. For evildoers will be cut off, But those who wait for the Lord, they will inherit the land. Yet a little while and the wicked man will be no more; And you will look carefully for his place and he will not be there. But the humble will inherit the land, And will delight themselves in abundant prosperity.”
Forsake wrath….the humble will inherit the land and have prosperity. Prosperity being peace and joy. Isn’t that the much better deal?
Final Thoughts on Anger and the Anger Test
A long time ago, I didn’t realize anger was such a problem. I just figured it was an emotion that we had to deal with. But truly, when we begin to understand how God wants us to live…in abundant peace, joy, kindness, love…then anger has no place in our hearts.
For me, I find that it will try to settle in when some things happen…and I must stay aware. If I mindlessly allow myself to become angry, usually I have a bad day after that. Do you find this too?
But…if I’m intentional, mindful, and make it a point to remain peaceful in my heart and thoughts, then anger can’t find a foothold. And that means the enemy has lost. I’ll take that victory any day.
Here are some other articles that may interest you, too:
Get Unstuck by Changing Your Perspective
How to Have a Grateful Heart…and Stay Positive
Happiness is Not a Destination: Finding Joy in the Struggle
Light and Love,
Heidi
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Resource:
Heitzig, L. and Rose, P.; Live Beautifully: A Study in the Books of Ruth and Esther; David C. Cook Publisher; 2012.