Happiness is Not a Destination: How to Find Contentment in the Struggle
As many women do, I’ve struggled with my weight since hitting peri-menopause about five years ago. Being now 56, and still deep in the throes of hot flashes, random menses, weight gain, mood swings (you know: hormone shifts), I have recognized that I have always had this “When I get to….whatever,” destination mindset.
After trying to reduce my weight for the past two years, especially in my belly area, my mantra has become, “Oh, gosh! I’ll be so happy when I’m back down to ….” And this mindset extends into other areas too.
That when I “reach” a certain goal or point in my life, I’ll be happy! Finally.
Basically, I’ve erroneously believed for decades of my life that:
*When I lost 5 (then 15, then 20, then 30) pounds, I’ll be happy and content
*When we have a paid off house, I’ll be happy and content
*When I can create a really good video on YouTube and have masses of subscribers for the channel….I’ll be content
*When I get to the place where this person or that person is….I’ll be content (the comparison game)
And on and on and on.
What a bunch of LIES.
The danger in this kind of thinking is that if I’m not happy right now and I’m blaming it on an external issue, then I’m saying that my happiness hinges on whatever “thing” I’m searching for. And that’s NOT a good place to put your mind.
Finding contentment IN and through the journey is where it’s at. Finding contentment in our one true source, our Heavenly Father, is ultimately where joy comes from.
The truth is, all of these things I “want” are simply part of the human journey. And we all want different things. I suspect we all play this game with ourselves, at least for periods of time (or for some of us, all) of our lives.
You know what?
It gets old after awhile.
At a certain point, you need to be good with changes! You need to objectively look at your circumstances and ask these questions:
*Can I do anything about this?
*If so, is it healthy and good and what God would want to see?
*What will the consequences be for my actions?
*How will I feel about myself if I make whatever changes I’m planning? Better? Worse? No change?
*Ultimately, what would Jesus do…. is the question that really gives a good outlook on the question at hand.
Our Father in Heaven loves us. He loves us just as we are. He understands our human failings.
This is not to say He agrees with what we do; that we don’t make Him sad by our behaviors; that what we choose to do or not do is always ok….
But the fact of the matter is simple: We are forgiven.
Not only are we forgiven, but we are:
*Saved
*Sealed in His grace
*Loved
*Fellow citizens with the Saints
*Confident in His love for us
*Renewed in His spirit
*Brand new
and so much more. We are so very blessed.
No matter our state of being.
It doesn’t matter if you need to lose a few pounds. It doesn’t matter if you have disappointed yourself. It doesn’t matter if you have made mistakes (I have made SO, SO many in my life….some really bad ones). It doesn’t matter if you are constantly trying to manage your mind (like me)….
The destination IS truly the journey, as cliche’ as that sounds.
We are asked to do our best in our lives. If we are new to Christianity, we must learn. If we are old time Christians, we must learn. We will always be learning. We will always be growing. This, I believe, is what God wants to see in us. Growth and desire to do His will and live our lives in love for others, ourselves, and of course, Him.
This is why He sees our hearts.
Our job is to continue on, trying to understand, trying to do our best, repenting when we make a mistake (sin)….and guess what? We all do. ALL of us.
As far as that pesky extra weight?
Well, I don’t like it, I won’t accept it, and I never will.
BUT, I know it is not who I am. It is not who God sees me as.
I’m loved.
It is my responsibility and privilege to continue to pray, to continue to reach out to Him, to do my best, and to grow and change little by little as He wants me to.
THIS is victory.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that I should just forget about losing weight and taking care of the body God gave me. But it does mean that I can find joy and peace and happiness in my circumstance right now.
Isn’t that exciting?
It’s a journey! It’s all about learning! It’s about reaching out for that relationship with our Father and our Friend, Jesus and doing our best to do as they say. It’s about loving our neighbors, the greatest law….And do you know what?
The ONLY way we can love our neighbor is to love ourselves.
I’m so excited about this! Aren’t you?
So, if you’re striving to reach goals,
If you’re comparing yourself to others’ unattainable feats,
If you’re discontent with your lot in life….
There’s a cure.
There’s a way for complete and total joy.
It’s giving your struggle to God, and it’s making little changes every single day that are positive. It’s finding your joy right now, right here, no matter the circumstance. You don’t give up the goal…but shift your mind to joy.
I really think that goal will come faster this way too!
Here are some verses that help me remember to find contentment and stop being ungrateful and discontented:
“Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13
The secret is finding our joy and our need in Jesus. The secret is knowing that circumstances are just that—-a time that will pass. If we place the source of our joy and contentment in Lord Jesus, then we will be happy—-no matter what.
Peace, Light, and Love,
Heidi
P.S. I’d love to know what you think! Leave a comment if you like, in the comments section. Or you can email me! :-)
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